Posted on October 10, 2011 - by

An Appetite for Murder–just a nibble!


Chapter One

“A hot dog or a truffle. Good is good.”  James Beard

Lots of people think they’d love to eat for a living. Me? I’d kill for it.

Which makes sense, coming from my family. FTD told my mother to say it with flowers, but she said it with food. Lost a pet? Your job? Your mind? Life always felt better with a serving of Mom’s braised short ribs or red velvet cake in your belly. In my family, we ate when happy or sad but especially, we ate when we were worried.

The brand new Key Zest magazine in Key West, Florida announced a month ago that they were hiring a food critic for their style section. Since my idea of heaven was eating at restaurants and talking about food, I’d do whatever it took to land the job. Whatever. But three review samples and a paragraph on my proposed style as their new food critic were due on Monday. Six days and counting. So far I had produced nothing. The big goose egg. Call me Hayley Catherine “Procrastination” Snow.

To be fair to me, some of the blockage could be traced to the fact that Kristen Faulkner—my ex’s new girlfriend and the woman whose cream sauce I’d most like to curdle—happened to be the co-owner of Key Zest. What if she judged the restaurants I chose impossibly lowbrow? What if she deleted my application packet the minute it hit her inbox? Or worst of all, what if I landed the job and had to rub shoulders with her every day?

My psychologist friend Eric had suggested ever-so-sweetly that it was time to quit thinking and start eating. Hence, I was hurrying along Olivia Street to meet him for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants on the island, Seven Fish. Of course, I’d left my roommate’s houseboat late because I couldn’t figure out what to wear. I winnowed it down to two outfits and asked Evinrude, my gray tiger cat, to choose. Black jeans and a form-fitting white T-shirt with my shin-high, butt-kicking, red cowgirl boots? Or the cute flowered sundress with a cabled hoodie? From his perch on the desk, the cat twitched his tail and said nothing. But I bet Kristen would never go for “cute.” I shimmied into the jeans, scrunched a teaspoon of hair product into my still-damp auburn curls, and set out at a fast clip.


We'd love to hear yours!

  1. Visit My Website

    October 10, 2011


    Pj Schott said:

    Oh, yum!! Can’t wait for the whole enchilada!! Did you see what Mayor Gonzo Mays just posted? I want to see your book in Jimmy Buffett’s Key West Margaritaville Store. Next to Jimmy’s Christmas Island CD and The Mayor’s “Pirate Night Before Christmas.


  2. Visit My Website

    October 10, 2011


    Dru said:

    I love it.


Leave a Reply

Here's your chance to speak.

  1. Name (required)

    Mail (required)